


special

by florencethecosmic



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-05
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-11-23 18:18:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11407914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/florencethecosmic/pseuds/florencethecosmic
Summary: Dan is special, but lots of other people, including himself, consider his super powers “freaky” than “special”. Dan can read minds, which is so much of a use from his mafia family, as he was trained to manipulate and spin people's heads at the tip of his fingers. When he turned 21, he was paired by one of the mafia clan's well-trained con-artist, and a horrific gambler, Phil Lester.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning:
> 
> This story will involve violence (domestic abuse, gun usage, bombs, killing, car crashes, bloody incidents, suicide, etc.), homosexuality (if you're not into some gay vibes, this isn't a story you should read), vulgar words and grammatical errors (if you're a grammar nazi then I'm sorry I'm not good in english and typographical errors may occur here and there, and I'm too lazy to edit them). My thoughts on this story is to make it angsty so I suggest you shouldn't read this story if violence, in any kind of way, irks you. I'll put what kind of violence and how mild/heavy it is at the beginning for you to base on if you want to read the story.
> 
> Just fiction. I ship Dan and Phil but I'm not someone to say what their sexualities are as I'm just a shipper, and their personalities in any of my story aren't necessarily true to who they are IRL, if you're someone who doesn't know who Dan and Phil are (or the personalities we see on Youtube). Don't base anything from this fictional story. Thank you.
> 
> -florence

“you're not special, Dan.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.”


	2. Chapter 2

trigger warning:

this chapter has violence (specifically, gun usage), tree falling accident, and minor death (not graphic) by the middle/end part of the chapter. Also, some cheesy angst that will make you projectile vomit on your device. Just a warning if these things irk you :) 

\--

Dan has heard a lot of things from other people's mouths that he can describe himself as; different, special, odd, freak; he doesn't know which of which he is. But he knows it has its pros and cons, to have an ability that no other people can - he can read minds.

No one knows—even his family—when, how, where it came from. Was Dan born with it? Did he get it from something supernatural or scientific when he turned 7? Is it a skill that he unconsciously learned? Is he actually a superhero and being find by X-Men? Can he do other things other than read people's minds? Is he immortal in some way, or he has a shorter life span than normal people? All of those questions, nobody knows the answer, including Dan himself. 

Having an ability to read minds and proving it to other people have its ups and downs for Dan. When Dan found out he can read minds at the age of 7, he tried to prove it to  other kids in school. Sadly, he was called neither the ‘coolest kid in class’ or ‘the special one’; he was called different, a freak, a weirdo. That didn't help Dan's self-esteem at all.

Most of his childhood memories, especially in school, being different is something that didn't go well for him. Some may say it was cool and freaky, but neither of those did make his popularity better. They all avoided being friends with him, and he can think of a lot of reasons why. Were they afraid of what he might hear inside their heads? Were they freaked-out from his oddity? Did they feel too normal for him? Were they jealous of him? He doesn't know which, really, or maybe all of the above; but their distant stares and whispers when he walks by made him really sad. He's home-schooled trough middle school and transfered to an elite school in high school, and realized the mistake of saying his ability to other people, and kept it a secret.

However, in his household, his ability is considered as special, a blessing, gift from the heavens above; as it helps from his family's lifestyle who are well-known in the same industry from gambling, killing, and identity thefts - in short, his family is a mafia. The Howells are well-known for being risk-takers from gambling, travelling around the world to scam large companies, and for taking other people's lives when it's a matter of business. There's no more important for them than  their reputation, their power. And having a family member who can do a lot for them is something that they considered as a blessing, even they, who do not believe in a higher power. They only look up to themselves.

He feels abnormal, an outcast, when he socializes with other people. Even from his housemaids and the people in his neighborhood; making him spend the majority of his time inside the house, inside his room. Because inside the house, he feels special. He feels like he's wanted, and loved. That's why despite his opinions and beliefs, he agreed to finally join his family.

Despite of feeling needed from his family, he doesn't feel the understanding he wants. Because if they understand him, they wouldn't persuade him to join them. Even from growing up being surrounded by firearms, violence, and danger; Daniel Howell doesn't want to be one of them. He was an optimistic, bubbly child who's scared of his family. He knew what it was when his family drags him into something dangerous and make him read all of his family's enemies’ minds, even when gambling. He's not dumb. No one knows what their family is like, even their housemaids and neighbors. Nobody knows what Daniel and his family are capable of. He grew up in a dark life, but he wasn't horrified by it until Phil Lester came around.

It was the summer of 2001 when Phil Lester, a thief, from Manchester, came all the way to Berkshire as he was one of the youngest recruites in the Howell clan. As far as Dan knows, Phil Lester doesn't have any parents. He steals food, money and the police can't even come close to him. He was recruited by Dan's father himself, sending him to the south where the Howells actually live. Naturally, you send your agents to the headquarters—especially new hired agents—and not in the hidden, actual residence of the Howells. But Phil's first objective wasn't to go to the HQ and train. He was sent to the Howell residence, as it was the 10th birthday of his boss’ only son, Daniel.

It was the summer of 2001, on Daniel Howell's 10th birthday, when Phil Lester had his first mission. 

“Dan, the cake is almost ready! Come out of your room!” said one of his housemaids that he doesn't remember who, through the other side of Dan's bedroom door followed by a few knocks.

Dan rolled his eyes as if the maid could see it. There's no need to be reminded of his birthday ‘cause that's the reason why Dan doesn't want to get out of his room and celebrate it. He wasn't like this, but he got tired of spending his supposed to be a special occasion, with only a few people that he's not even close with. There are no relatives in their house, as his family is always busy and always away, so he's positive he'll spend his birthday with the housemaids again.

“Dan! You still haven't eaten your breakfast and it's already 3 o clock in the afternoon! Your parents are going to kill me if you don't eat!” said the housemaid, this time she sounded pissed. Her knocks are getting louder each time.

‘If you only know what my family is capable of, you bet they'll kill you,’ Dan thought, but didn't respond. He chose to ignore, not moving an inch from lying on his bed while his arms extended over his head, holding the ‘Lord of the Fireflies’ book, trying to read them again from being distracted by the maid. The maid suddenly felt quite, but when she spoke again, she wasn't speaking to him now. He can hear her mutter some things that are clearly not for him.

“He won't open the door... No, we can't find the key, either. He probably hid it somewhere... I tried, I've been calling him since this morning...”

Dan furrowed his eyebrows. He's positive it was the maid, and he can hear other voices from the other side of the door as well, but it's too far to hear who's she talking to or what the person is saying. Might be another maid, ‘cause he has tons of housemaids for their house is obnoxiously big, but Dan just grew curious from it.

“Dan? Dan, open the door, you have a new friend.” said the maid, making Dan's eyebrow raise.

He assumed for a second that it was true there, but he knew better. Probably trolling him to open the door, or probably just his cousins that aren't normally visiting him even on his birthday. His cousins visiting him on his birthday is more likely than him having a new friend. If the maid had gone for that, it'd be likely for him to go outside.

“Tell my cousins to go away! I'm not in the mood!” Dan shouted back, rolling over his bed once again to sit, almost closing the book he's reading by sticking his index finger in between the pages like a bookmark.

“It's not your cousins, Dan. Just open the door.” she said.

Dan was positive that she was just trolling him, and if he'll just ignore her, she'll get tired of it. He was about to answer back when an unfamiliar voice boomed in his ears for the first time, ain't sure whether it was true or he just heard it inside his head.

“Why won't he come out?”

“I don't know, probably just tired... What's your name, again?”

“Phil.”

Now, Dan is positive he doesn't know this guy. But he got consumed by curiosity anyway. He stood up, leaving the book open on his bed, and walked towards the door. The two of them were muttering some things to each other when Dan opened the door, revealing the familiar maid who looks like she's on her 20's, and a pale guy beside her; wearing a simple white shirt, jeans and slightly dirty shoes. Dan had to look up to the guy who's inches taller than him, and their eyes both bored on each other.

The boy looks older than him, probably 2 years or more, as his adam's apple already looked noticeable and it was clear that this guy has already hit puberty, something that 10 year old Daniel still hasn't come to yet. Due to low self-esteem, he immediately compared himself to the guy in front of him, and realized how opposite they look like.

This guy is probably the palest guy he's ever seen, but it'd probably say much about how many people he know than this guy's individuality. Dan is slightly tanned, like something gold has been hit by the sun and it glistens with the same color as his skin. Dan's eyes are the color of brown coffee that complements his hair color, while this guy's hair is jetblack, really emphasizing his eyes that are the color of the ocean by his dark hair and white pale skin. But besides the bright everything from this guy, one thing that Dan also noticed was the dead behind his eyes. Like his eyes aren't the calm, pleasant water that you thought it were when you first see them, but blank, like it was the deepest part of the ocean and everything is in havoc. Like a storm.

“Good thing you decided to leave your room. It's rude to your friend wait.” the maid said in front of him, making him look at her and stopping the trance of his thoughts.

“I don't know him.” Dan just said, as-a-matter-of-factly. 

“Well, he's Phil and he's a friend of your father. He's here to join your birhday. But before you go, change your pj's first.” she said and the three of them look at what Dan was wearing, making Dan flustered from realizing he still haven't changed his clothes yet.

After Dan changed into his casual clothes, him and Phil were persuaded by the maids to hang-out first and know each other better, as they messed up the cake and had to re-do it again. It was awkward for Dan as since he got home-schooled, it was his first time socializing with a new person again. Nevertheless, he was excited. They talked awkwardly outside of Dan's house. It was not much of a progress, but Dan learned that Phil is apparently, 4 years his senior, which explains the deep voice and strong presence. Dan couldn't imagine himself going through puberty. 

“Do you like Pokemon?” Dan asks as they walk around the backyard, specifically heading to a hundred year old tree that is more than enough to keep them under the sun.

“Yeah. But I barely played it,” Phil replied, making Dan's forehead creased in confusion, turning around to look at him who's following him behind.

“What? Really? I play mine all the time!”

Dan found it somewhat creepy when Phil looked at him and the side of his lips turned up, and with a sympathetic smile he said, “I don't really own one. It was... my friends’.”

“Oh, okay,” Dan said, turning his back on him once again. He doesn't know what to add up with that so he just ran towards the tree and shouted, “Look! There's a cat up the tree!”

Catching his breath, Dan stopped running when he reached the tree and stepped under the shade. There was indeed, a black, stray cat sleeping inbetween thick branches of the tree, way up higher than Dan has expected when he looked up. 

When he heard the footsteps behind him, he happily looked over Phil with a big smile on his face and pointed at the cat, “Let's get the cat!”

Phil looked at him before he looked up at the sleeping cat, looked back at him to shake his head, “That's way too high. This tree is way too big.”

Dan childishly dismissed what Phil was saying with a ‘psh!’ and looked over the cat again, who's already awakened.

“I have climbed on this tree too many times, I'm not going to fall! Watch me!” Dan said to Phil, who still looks bored and nonchalant as ever. 

Dan started to climb the tree, holding onto it with his bare hands. He reached the first thick branches of the tree easily, looking down at Phil with a proud and arrogant look on his face. While all Phil did was sigh and cross his arms, watching Dan intently with his intimidating eyes. Dan climbed the second layer of the tree, and he began to sweat. While it is true that he have already climbed on that tree for countless times already, he haven't reached the third layer of the tree where the cat is currently on. The cat began to be cautious as well, walking over the thick branch of the tree until it reached the edge, while Dan started to climb.

When he successfuly reached it, the cat started to angrily purr at him, but Dan only found it funny.

“Dan, you're going to fall.” For the first time since he climbed, Phil spoke.

Dan looked down on Phil who looked smaller now, standing a little too far from the tree and still crossing his arms on his chest. He doesn't look bothered or tensed at all.

“No, I'm not. I'm just going to catch this cat and get it down from here,” Dan shouted, reassuringly.

Phil didn't answer. Dan carefully crouched and hold onto the branch that the cat is standing on. He carefully kneeled and crawled towards the cat.

The branch he's crawling on was shaking, and the strong gush of wind wasn't helping. Dan was way up high, but he was not backing up now. When he got closer to the cat, he bravingly raised his hand towards the cat while his other hand and both of his legs are onto the branch of the tree. But as Dan got even closer to the cat who's now at the edge of the branch, it suddenly scratched him on his palm, making him scream in shock and making him lose his balance. It was too late to hold onto anything when he already felt nothing around him but the air.

From the moments that he was falling, Dan could hear nothing but the air that felt like someone was blowing in both of his ears. He imagined it to be really fast, instinctively closed his eyes, getting ready for the impact. Instead of the horrifying things he was thinking of at that moment, he felt like as if there was a stronger force on his back that's preventing him from falling. It felt like he was no longer falling, but floating. Before he could open his eyes, the collision of his back and the ground were felt, making him groan. Surprisingly, there was no extreme pain on his back, his head, or any other parts of his body that could've been damaged from the collision. The pain was suddenly realized on the stratch on his palm. Figuratively and literally placing him back on earth.

“Dan!” Phil's shout was heard, making Dan raise his head to look at Phil who's now jogging towards him, “Are you okay?”

‘Does it look like I'm okay?!’ Dan wanted to say, but he was still in shock that he didn't have the energy to be sarcastic at this point, especially in that situation where he was clearly the one to blame and not Phil. Or the cat. He'll blame the cat.

Phil heaved a sigh and reached something over his lower back. Dan's eyes got bigger when he saw what Phil's holding in his hands. It was a gun.

“I think it's time...” Phil muttered under his breath, that was enough for Dan to hear.

“Phil, what— are you nuts?!” Dan hysterically screamed. His heart is erratically beating now, freaking out.

“You need to learn something, Dan. In this world, it's kill or be killed. If someone hurts you, you hurt them back. If you're scared, you shouldn't show that you're scared; instead, you scare them back,” Phil crypticly said without looking at him, because he was aiming  towards the tree and pulling the trigger- followed by the cat falling over the tree.

Dan was raised in an environment where guns and any other firearms are commonly used, but Dan hates it. And even when he's not the one on gunpoint, he felt more scared than ever. Especially when Phil looked down on him with the same, cold, blue eyes. Dan was right. It was storm behind his eyes, not tranquility.

“Y-You were hired by my father?” Dan said when things finally dawned on him. He sat bolt upright, while both his voice and his legs are shaking from how the events turned out.

Phil didn't say anything, he just looked at him. Dan is wallowing with so many emotions, he doesn't even know what he should be feeling right now.

Phil offered a hand when Dan tried to stand up, but Dan flicked it off and stood up all by himself. When he finally found the courage to look at him in the eyes, he did. This time, he did it with intention. He wants to know what this guy is thinking.

Clearing his head, he stared at Phil's eyes, more like glare at them, and focused on going inside his brain. He already mastered how to do it intentionally from the age of 8, but strangely, he doesn't hear anything from the boy. 

“The world is a dark place, Dan. No one is safe. Everyone is mad. You don't survive by doing nothing, by being soft to the world and letting other people turn your weakness on you. Never let yourself be taken for granted. You can only survive if you're madder, meaner than the world. Wreak havoc, Dan. Be mad.” Phil said, all those words poured out of his lips.

Dan's face flustered, clenching his fist. Phil immediately hid his gun when some housemaids called-out from a distance. They both ignored it.

“Do you know who I am?” Dan asked, still glaring hardly at Phil.

Finally, he got inside Phil's head. But what Phil's thinking was something he didn't expect.

‘Yes, Dan. I know everything about you,’ Phil's voice echoed in his head, ‘And you don't know anything about me.’

\---

(a/n: sorry for the cliche, trying hard angst lol. Also the grammar. I'm not used to writing on 3rd person's POV. I'll edit it when I finally have the motivation to lol)


End file.
